


Visit

by decrescendo



Series: Missing Scenes [6]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Canon Compliant, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Missing Scene, POV Minerva McGonagall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-27 06:18:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12075234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/decrescendo/pseuds/decrescendo
Summary: Between the events at the Ministry and her release from St. Mungo's, Minerva receives a visit from her former student and colleague.





	Visit

Minerva paced relentlessly back and forth across the narrow room, steadfastly ignoring the sharp pain that blossomed in her chest with each turn. It was hardly even noticeable compared with the agony of the first couple of days. She did wish, though, that she could at least do away with the walking stick. Already she had grown tired of the way it clunked noisily against the floor, making it difficult to achieve the level of focus she usually gained in pacing. A month, her Healer had said. As if Minerva was some sort of _old woman._

She glanced up at the wall clock that hung above her bed and scowled to see how little time had passed since she last checked. Every second of her stay at St. Mungo's had passed with excruciating slowness, and she was rather convinced that someone had charmed the clocks to decrease further in speed as the date of her release approached. Now that she had only three days left in this God forsaken place, each minute seemed to take hours.

Her brooding was interrupted by a knock on the door and she stopped pacing abruptly. "Come in," she called. She was glad that they had started knocking, at least; in the beginning, when she was still confined to the bed, Healers would come and go with neither announcement nor permission.

The door opened to reveal the Healer who had been Minerva's primary caretaker. Like most of the young witches and wizards in Britain, she was a former student, and although she had been a Hufflepuff, Minerva remembered her clearly. Eugenia Stubs. Her marks in Transfiguration had been particularly low.

"Professor McGonagall," said Eugenia, "you have a visitor, if you are up for it."

"Of course I'm up for it," said Minerva right away. Even Severus' company would be preferable to this dreadful boredom. "Might I ask who?"

"Remus Lupin."

Minerva glanced over at the bedside table, where a half-finished letter to the same Remus Lupin was rolled up beside a bottle of ink. She had been meaning to finish it for days, but even without a single other thing happening to distract her from doing so, she had been unable to find the words.

"Bring him in," she said.

Eugenia nodded and withdrew. A moment later, Remus stood in the doorway where she had been.

If she hadn't been told of his coming, Minerva thought she might not have recognized him; his prematurely lined face was more exhausted than she had ever seen it and his hair far grayer than it had been just months ago. Something in his posture was different, too; he sagged a bit, as if this newest burden had been the thing that finally broke him. She supposed that probably was not too far from the truth.

"Remus," she greeted him.

He crossed the small distance between them with his hand extended and she shook it. "Minerva," he replied. "I am glad to see your recovery is going well."

His voice sounded older, too, and far wearier than it should have.

"Thank you," she said. She gestured to the chair that sat against the wall behind him. "Please, sit." She waited until he had done so and then lowered herself onto the edge of the bed.

"Will you be allowed to return to Hogwarts before the end of the year?" asked Remus.

Minerva nodded. "I'm supposed to be released in three days."

"And you're looking forward to it, I suppose? I can't imagine Mungo's has done much to keep you occupied."

"It's been dreadfully dull," said Minerva. "Although I'll hardly have much work to do when I return; exams have already finished. But quite apart from anything else," she added grimly, "I am quite looking forward to returning to a Hogwarts where Dolores Umbridge is no longer in charge."

"You certainly aren't alone in that sentiment," said Remus. "Though I suppose you'll be needing a new Defense teacher again, won't you?"

Minerva sighed. "Some things never change." _You ought to take the post,_ she almost said, but stopped herself. She knew and understood perfectly well why he had resigned two years ago.

Remus seemed to know, though, what she had been thinking. "Sometimes I wish..." he began, but then stopped and shook his head. "Never mind. I made my decision. And anyway, it would feel a bit strange, going back to Professor Lupin after seeing so much of my students over the holidays."

This was the closest he had come to mentioning Sirius or Harry, and Minerva sensed a slight shift, as if the air in the room had changed. She considered whether she ought to say anything, and then decided that she might as well. She was quite certain the subject would come up eventually either way.

"Have you seen him?" she asked.

Remus did not have to ask what she meant. "No," he said. Then he dropped his gaze to his knees. After a long pause, he said quietly, "I suppose that makes me a bit of a coward."

"Remus," said Minerva, rather more sharply than she had intended. "You are a great many things, but a coward is not one of them."

"Aren't I, though?" He looked back up at her. There was a rather desperate look in his eyes and his voice was almost pleading. "He's just lost his only family. I swore I'd always be there for him and now I can't even face him."

"He's not the only one grieving, Remus," she reminded him gently.

He took a deep breath and scrubbed one hand over his face. "I keep trying to write to him but I can't do it. What would I say in a letter? What could I possibly write to make any of this better?"

Minerva thought of the letter she had been struggling to write to Remus, and understood entirely.

They both were silent for a long while, until finally Remus murmured, "It just doesn't quite feel real, yet."

"I know." And she did, a bit; she had experienced enough of grief in her own life to understand the feeling of complete unreality. But there was another dimension to Remus' loss that she knew she would never quite be able to understand.

He had already lost Sirius once, and getting him back had been nothing short of a miracle. She could not even imagine the scope of Remus' pain at at losing him all over again, this time with no chance at all that he might come back.

Remus stood. "I must be going, I'm afraid," he said quietly. "There's a great deal to be done, now that Voldemort is in the open again."

Minerva stood as well and reached out to shake his hand. "Of course."

She watched him as he went to the door, so much older in his movements than he had been. Just as he placed his hand on the knob she stopped him. "Remus."

He turned back to look at her.

"I am so sorry for your loss," she said softy.

He gave her a fleeting smile that did not reach his eyes. "Thank you." Then, after a pause, he added, "Look after Harry for me."

"Of course," she said again, and Remus flashed her one more sad smile before leaving the room.


End file.
